Are Your Brain & Heart Unapologetically Aligned? featuring Kimberly Mays

In this episode, I am honored to welcome Kimberly May, a seasoned wellness coach,  Certified Havening Techniques® practitioner, Licensed HeartMath® provider, and holistic guide who helps people connect deeply with their inner wisdom and life purpose.  Kimberly's work focuses on helping individuals rediscover passion, release stress, tap into sustainable energy by aligning the mind, body, and heart. Her Infinite Energy coaching blends practical tools for wellness, stress management, and mindset with heart-centered living, making the journey toward coherence feel both empowering and joy-filled.

We dive into what it truly means to live from the heart's wisdom -- how to create a coherent relationship between our brain and heart so we can access clarity, calm, and inspired action. We dive into her experience guiding people through transformation, the role of practices like HeartMath® and Havening in nervous-system regulation, and how listening to the heart's intelligence can unlock deeper energy and purpose. Whether you're seeking more ease, direction, or authentic vitality, this conversation is for you! 

Connect with Kimberly: 

Website: https://www.inspirewellness.net/#/

Instagram: @inspire_wellnessllc

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My book, 29 Days: The Self-Love Leap is your guide to making 29 meaningful, healthy lifestyle changes - one per day - that will help you unlock the best version of yourself.  These aren't overwhelming, unrealistic goals.  They're practical, empowering steps that fit into your daily life and help you create habits that promote self-love, balance, and optimal health. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 1:19

Welcome back to today's episode of Unapologetic Living. I'm Elizabeth Elliott. I'm your hostess and I am thrilled to have Kimberly Mays with me today. Welcome, Kimberly. Hi. Happy to be here, Elizabeth. Now do you go by your full name? I like Kimberly. Okay. Yeah, I like Elizabeth. Every once in a while I get this random like uh go Liz. I'm like, whoa, whoa. Like no one, no one says that's okay. Like the most randomest of times. I'm like, okay. But I haven't gone by my full name my whole life, too. Um I'm excited to have you here. I know we've crossed paths like in person, probably somewhere, and I can't figure out where because when we uh spoke, um there's a variety of places it could have been. Um and we've both been in the wellness kind of industry, you far longer than me. Um, but it's been a passion for both of us to help guide people, live a more holistic, um, spirit-driven, spirit-led life. Um so, but just a little bit about Kimberly. Uh Kimberly is a wellness coaching specialist, a certified havening, would you say practitioner? Yes. Okay. Uh licensed heart math provider and functional nutrition counselor, ranking master teacher, and has uh 20 plus years of working in the wellness industry. And um I've had many of the folks that I've had on the show are working in the same field using various modalities and have been brought here for uh um a myriad of reasons. So um one of the things that really jumped out at me when I found you again was uh your connection with, and I know you have lots of tools for your wellness toolbox, um, but was the heart math. Um, and then also the havening technique. So both of those, neither have been discussed on the show ever. So I would love for us to definitely touch on those, but like what brought you here?

SPEAKER_00: 3:34

Yeah, well, thank you. And like Elizabeth, like maybe yourself and other folks out there, uh, usually it's some challenge or crisis uh where you're trying to figure out and get answers. Uh, I was working in the corporate world in uh marketing and loving it and burning the candle at both ends, eating all the wrong food. Uh I I somehow was in the fast food industry for a long time, and I was doing marketing for the pizza business of all things. So my life evolved around getting people to eat more pizza. And of course, I was eating tons of fast food and soft drinks and just, you know, living life. I I loved my job. I was having fun and just cranking it out, you know, and then um I wasn't feeling good all of a sudden, went to different doctors, you know, and couldn't get any answers, and eventually um was told I had adrenal fatigue and then I was dealing with infertility. I was trying to get pregnant, and ironically, a lot of the young women around me at work were trying to also and couldn't. And so they were like, Well, you have fibroid tumors and you have endometriosis and you have all these things. And I was like, Well, what do you do about that? And and it was like, Well, we don't know. We don't we don't know what causes that, and we don't know what to do. And I'm like, well, surely somebody knows these answers, you know. So I just started kind of studying health and wellness in my free time, reading books like Dr. Christiane Northup and different integrative provider type folks, and uh started changing my diet, and I started going out to Fox Hollow when it was the clinic and spa, and uh met with them to try to get some answers and started applying some of those things. Uh, heart math was one, working on my stress, uh, changing my diet, changing my lifestyle, uh, slowing down, saying no. Um then I was at Unity Church, and um I remember being sick with the flu, and I was so sick, and I was praying for answers, and I opened the bulletin at church, and it said, uh, six-week course getting ready to be offered on the seven spiritual and physical causes of ill health by Hannah Kroger. And it was gonna be all these weekends for like six or eight weeks, and I thought, well, there's no way I can devote my whole weekend to this because I'm busy, right? And I'm important and I got to travel and work. But long story short, something I remember they were having an intro, yeah, and I had the flu, and I thought I can't go. And I called the girl that was gonna teach the class, and she said, Don't go to work, take a salt bath, do these certain things, come to the first class and make a decision. So I got there, and there was probably 50 people or more, like everybody in Louisville that was into holistic health, I think, was there. Um, and I was like, This is where I'm supposed to be. I'm gonna learn, you know, how to get well. And so it was a lot about detoxing the body and you know, changing your foods and taking the right supplements. I had a lot of candida from all the pizza and sugar, and you know, so cleaning up my body. And um, I remember going back and my fibroid tumor had gone from the size of an orange to an egg, and they were like, We don't know how you did this, and I was so excited, I couldn't wait to tell them, but you know, nobody really wanted to hear all that. But long story short, it was really the um getting sick, and then eventually um I had what I called the big wake-up call when I I continued back into uh my corporate endeavors, um, all the while wanting to get into wellness. And um, but I was in um actually I was a recruiter at this time, and um on a Sunday afternoon is when I had the car accident and had um a pretty big wake-up call where you know our our car was hit broadside by a Corvette going 65 miles an hour, so it pinned me to the console of the car, and uh the car rolled down a ravine, and um I remember right before I saw the car coming, it was this beautiful red Corvette. I said, God help me, because I knew it was gonna be bad. And it felt like everything exploded, but then all of a sudden I just felt like I was floating up towards peace and love and joy and eternal bliss and felt connected to everything and thought this is the way to go, this is where I want to go. I want more of this, you know. Um, but I quickly, having that experience, heard that it was not my time. So and I remember coming back to the scene of the wreck and looking at my body and thinking, I don't want to go back in there because it looked really bad. And they couldn't get me out. So they're using the jaws of life, can't get me out, cut the roof off the car, you know, all that, trying, trying really hard. Um, and eventually I remember the moment that I kind of suddenly came back in and um my femur was broken, and my arm and a bunch of things were all uh broken, and I remember the pain of that. And yet I was part of me was in bliss still, you know. I I was so blissed from that experience, and I couldn't believe I was back. So that blew the lid off everything. After that, I you know, I I knew that I had to get about what I came back to do. So it really got important to me to like be my authentic self and to line my life up. But I really struggled. It was it was hard to come back, it was hard to stay in my physical body. Um, but that really put me on a healing, a very serious healing path at that point um to see we're not our physical bodies that were infinite spirit, and it really changed my views on everything. And and I just wanted to talk about that, but that was kind of hard to do in my current the job I had.

SPEAKER_02: 10:08

So you had the near-death experience. How long uh and and that's it, and you know, I had another fellow on here who had a near-death experience, uh Dan Rima. Um, I don't know which episode. Um, and he describes a similar experience. And then I don't know, did you ever know Rebecca Martin?

SPEAKER_01: 10:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 10:30

She had a near-death experience, she describes it very similar as well, and she got a very clear message. She had to come back. It wasn't time, you know. Um, I think she was like in her early 40s. I don't know how old you were.

SPEAKER_00: 10:44

27.

SPEAKER_02: 10:45

27. Did you have your kids yet?

SPEAKER_00: 10:48

No, I had been married one month um to my husband, and then I was in a wheelchair and uh newly married. So yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 10:59

So how long did it take you to make that decision to leave the corporate world and transition over to the health and wellness?

SPEAKER_00: 11:11

Yeah, probably about five more years.

SPEAKER_02: 11:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 11:15

So, you know, I told you I I would I went to Fox Hollow for healing and trying to get answers. And so in my mind, I would visualize that I worked there and I would call there all the time and I would try, you know. So eventually um I did, um, I was still in my my corporate marketing job and I was visualizing and taking classes in health and wellness. And anyway, one day I did this transformational workshop, and I went, I just decided I'm gonna resign. And I wrote this manifesto about how I wanted to just make a difference, be my authentic self, really help people to heal. And no one thought it was a good idea for me to leave my job, but I just couldn't sell my soul for one more day. I just could not do it. And so I I quit my job and I started going, I made a list of all the holistic places in Louisville, and I went back to Fox Hollow in person and I said, you know, I'd well I do Reiki and I have this training, and they were like, We got enough people that do all that stuff. What else do you do? And I said, Well, I was a marketing director, and they said, Well, actually, that's what we need. So I had visualized that for a long time, and then I got really excited because eventually they did hire me to do that. And while I was there being the marketing director, I eventually transitioned into becoming a wellness coach and a licensed heart math provider and did a lot of different things there, wore a lot of different hats. Um, so I was fortunate enough in my six years there to get a lot of really great training, but really help people and help heal myself, you know. And so that was a real dream come true to get to work there. Oh my bad. Yeah, I love I loved it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 14:58

Yeah. My mom, um, when she so I don't know what your that was. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 11. I'm 47. Maybe I was closer to 12, somewhere in there. And she spent quite a bit of time out there at some different, you know, seeing different practitioners, and there were some wellness retreats and that she attended at Fox Hollow. Um, right back when it was that wellness. I don't know, it was kind of like a med spa, I guess.

SPEAKER_00: 15:29

I don't know if that's what it would be called, but well, we had this uh spa on one side of the property, and then the other side was a full integrative medical clinic, and we had doctors come in from Europe, but we had MDs there and longevity doctors and um some really good qualified uh physicians that worked more integratively and really got at the root cause of what was going on with people. So we would um meet as practitioners. So when I trained in the heart mouth, um because Dr. Wong, the MD there, uh the longevity doctor, he was the one that told me I was still like I had trained in TM in college and I was meditating every morning, but I would get to work and I still had that go, go, go from the corporate world, and everybody there was not in that mode. And I was just like, what is wrong with these people? Why don't they get stuff done? You know, we got to get this done. And anyway, he said, You got to slow down and learn to calm your nervous system. And so he talked to me about heart math, and um, I loved watching him because as an MD, he practiced everything that he told you to do. He was always calm and centered, and everything he ever told you to do, he was doing it. And um, so he really inspired me uh to want to practice that. And um ultimately after practicing it for a while, um, I was fortunate enough to go to California and train in it. And uh I had left the corporate world in the early 2000s and I went to work there shortly. Let's see, I think it was 2001, and then I left there. They closed in 2007. Um but the Heart Math um program, which you know is really designed to help synchronize the brain and heart. So what we think is, well, I'll go back. So all ancient civilizations used to believe, you know, like the Egyptians and the Greeks, they believed that the heart was the seat of our wisdom and that our intelligence came from our heart. And then around uh the 17th century, the scientific revolution, you know, came along and Descartes said, okay, no, it's the brain, you know. And so we started moving away from the heart's intelligence and thinking, okay, it's it's about the brain. So what's really happening is the heart sends twice as many messages up to our brain. So the Institute of Heart Math figured out and started researching the heart in 1991 and doing scientific research to show that based on heart rate variability, which is the beat per beat per second of the heart, that you can calm your nervous system, reduce stress, and you know, increase focus and ability by calming your heart. So we'll do a little heart math together. Uh, but it's it's a it's a basic breathing technique which focuses on the center of your body, your heart, your breath, and gratitude. So gratitude would make the rhythm of the heart go in this nice smooth rhythmical pattern, which then tells the brain and nervous system that we're calm. And so when we're stressed and jacked up, you know, we get that jagged, and we know what that feels like, and we're getting all that cortisol. So they did enough research to really show the things that we kind of know, but we need to see. So, and then they developed devices. Uh, their current one is called Inner Balance, and you use it hooked up to a phone in your ear, and it shows you when you're in a balanced place. So it shows you your heart rate variability, and it says, Look, you're basically in the zone. And you know how you try to meditate, but you're not sure if you're doing it. Oh, yeah. So it's actually, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 19:46

I was just talking to somebody about that the other day. You hear these people and individuals, I can't meditate, I don't know how, you know, and you think that you know you know, you're not necessarily, I don't know. I guess when I hear that, I think that, you know, all of our thoughts are always coming. It's not like we're ever going to be completely thoughtless. It's learning to like um, you know, find awareness of the space between, which I don't know if that's what you're talking about, but you know, spending more time there in the space between the thoughts instead of getting, you know, um consumed or taken away with the thoughts and where they could go.

SPEAKER_00: 20:33

Exactly. Yeah, so yeah, it's what you said, that space between. So it's like that be still and no. So in the stillness, when we have we're able to go to the heart and breathe. So let's just do it and and then we'll talk about it. So uh as you're listening, if you're driving, pull over. But if you're not, then if you want to just take a breath and maybe even put your hand on your heart just to feel it beating. Is it beating fast or slow? And just imagine that your breath, just gently breathe. And imagine that your breath can flow into your heart and out through your heart. And you can imagine it like a breeze or a wave that just goes in and out through your heart, through the center of your body. Just practicing that a few times. You can try breathing into the counterfly and out through the counterpart. For someone or something. Elizabeth has her pet in her lap, so you can imagine petting a cat or a dog. We're just a peaceful place we like to go. Bring your focus back to here now. How is that? Relaxing. Yeah, so that's the quick hope hearance technique and uh those that process is a heart math tool. Um you can do it with your eyes open, but you can just do the heart breathing. So what happens by focusing on the heart? The heart is telling the brain I'm calm, I'm petting my dog, or I'm at the beach. And then the brain tells the nervous system to calm down. That nice rhythmical breath makes us feel safe. So When we're stressed, we're usually over here in the amygdala where we hold emotional memory. And the amygdala is saying, I'm unsafe. You know, I'm in a hurry. I got I got to get there. Um I can, you know, remember a time that I was working actually on a PowerPoint presentation for a heart math talk I was going to give. And a colleague of mine messaged me on LinkedIn, and I was real stressed at the time. And I couldn't think and I couldn't see his face. I couldn't think of who he was. But anyway, long story short, my computer crashed. I lost the PowerPoint. It was gone. Everything I'd worked on. So I was like, okay, girl, just practice what you preach. So I went, started doing the breathing in the heart, out through the heart. And my heart was like, those people don't want to see all those slides and numbers anyway. So the universe just crashed the computer, took it away. The ironic thing was when I was in my heart and calm, I could see the guy's face. So when we're in the amygdala, it's cutting off access to our higher cortex, which is what you know causes like test anxiety and stuff. Like so, when you're calm in your heart, you can access the higher cortex of the brain and remember, I could remember the guy. And then my heart's intelligence said, you don't need all that stuff anyway. Why are you doing that? Just tell some good stories, have a few slides, you know. So that was a very powerful story for me to remember because my heart's intelligence told me what to do. But my brain was telling me, you know, I was putting all the facts and figures and numbers in there, you know how we do.

SPEAKER_02: 24:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 24:54

I was gonna be at a hospital talking, I think, and I was trying to put all the science in there.

SPEAKER_02: 25:01

Yeah, all and and I think for some the spot the science is important. I know that it's um it's less important for me so much I do is guided by just the way I feel. Like I just know, like I just it's a feeling in my bones. It's a deep visceral feeling of, you know, when I'm thinking about or contemplating a decision. Then there are times I get a little bit mixed up. And I think that's where um when I the only experience I've really had with Heart Math was years ago. Um, when I was struggling to make one of those, because I I was getting stuck. I guess that's like I'm looking at you, so that would be the left brain stuck in the left brain. No. So, you know, where you can get stuck in that brain instead of like being guided by your heart. I think it can be when we've turned off or tuned out of uh that gut wisdom and our gut intuition, then I think it's a little bit more confusing to discern. And I think that's where some of the heart math tools come in. Yes. Is that yeah?

SPEAKER_00: 26:27

So it is really like I say, like driving a stick shift, if you ever drove one. So sometimes you feel like you're in reverse or fifth gear, you're going too fast. So in sixth gear, so when you're in your heart and you're calm and centered, your nervous system is calm and centered, you're in the higher cortex of the brain, so you're fully present. Really, what they figured out was the science, and I do love the science behind heart math, and I love that there is science, and I'll talk about that. Uh, so when you're fully in your higher cortex, your heart and brain are synchronized, then your nervous system is calm and you have greater energy, well-being, focus, but your intuition kicks in. So you've got that access, and you're also connected to your higher self. So the more they studied the heart at the Institute of Heartman, uh, it led them to spirituality. So there is a heartbeat in a fetus before there's a brain. So there's a heart beating before there's anything else. Um, so what they they actually uh found that they call the heart the the the God point. So it's we're really where we connect to the field. So, you know, we have the heart's field, which can be measured several feet away from the body. So you meet someone and you pick up on their energy and you're like, oh, I love this person. You know, they're you feel it, right? Um, or you feel someone's energy and you maybe back away from that. Um, but it is that field of the heart. Also, the electromagnetic field of the heart is 40 to 60 times stronger than the brain's field. So our heart is where we're picking up information. So when we're in a coherent, balanced state, and coherence just means uh that our systems are synchronized and balanced, um, we're able to make better decisions, our immune system is better. There was also a three-year study they did on how they looked at your DNA. So let's say, you know, you mentioned your mom had cancer. So people that were practicing being in coherence over long periods of time, uh, they had taken the DNA out of the body, they put it over here in a beaker. And what they noticed during this study is that when they were in that balanced, coherent place, it changed the DNA. So it was in a perfect state. So we can change the DNA of the body by going into a balanced, coherent state and using our heart. And then the heart is really our access to our highest best self, and also then we are connected to the infinite field. So that field uh of energy is like where we get our ideas or our, you know, our ability to connect to one another. Um, so it's it's pretty, pretty fascinating all the heart stories that um, you know, there's people that have gotten heart transplants. There was a young girl that got a heart transplant from a woman who had been murdered, and she actually started having dreams of who the person was and helped the police solve the murder because the heart has its own little brain inside of it. Uh, so that alone is fascinating. I mean, you can you can go to heartmath.org and the science of the heart is there, and the intuition studies are there. That intuition comes in through the heart, goes up to the brain. Uh, so there's some really pretty cool uh research there. They're also doing something called the Global Coherence Initiative. So this I think can make a big difference for the planet and does. So what they're doing is let's say there's an earthquake somewhere or any kind of something that maybe we would tend to be worried about. The Global Coherence Initiative, if you're part of it, will send an email. And so collectively, people will do heart math and send gratitude to that area. And then they are measuring its impact uh on that area and on the world. So um, if you know Joe Dispens's work, yeah, yeah, he uses it in his in 2013. He started doing research with his workshops and teaming up with heart math and using the heart math techniques and measuring the difference. So they would have large groups of people all go into coherency into a balanced state at the same time. And then they were looking at the impact that has on the world. So it really is how we can and do change the world. I think we get overwhelmed, like, what can I do? But this is something we can do, and it is measurable, and it does make a difference.

SPEAKER_02: 34:38

So when you say a state of coherence, were they able to see that on some sort of scan? Like when they were people like you would be able to clearly see this individual nervous system is calm and and their brain and heart are in a state of coherence, and that looks a certain way.

SPEAKER_00: 34:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 34:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 34:58

And all the studies are in, so this book, Becoming Supernatural. Oh, I have that book.

SPEAKER_02: 35:03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 35:04

Um, if you have it, all the studies are in there and they show all the graphs and all the research and uh people going into coherency at the same time. Um, I actually can feel it when I'm doing heart math with people. I'll feel when their heart goes into coherency and when they come out. And I I can just feel it. I've been doing it for over 20-something years now, and I I can feel it. Um, but anyway, he's I I like Joe Dispenser because he does a lot of research. Um in the Institute of Heart Math, does they have uh a researcher there, Rollin McCready, who publishes a lot of their research, and so you can go and find that as well. And it's it's fascinating, and they have some wonderful books, like um, for instance, Heart Math is used to transform hypertension. So they have a wonderful book on transforming hypertension by a cardiologist Bruce Wilson. And so it was just people wanting to get off blood pressure medication, and they used the heart math techniques because stress is the number one reason we end up at the doctor in the first place. And guess what the number one killer is in the world? What do you think the leading cause of death is?

SPEAKER_02: 36:18

Well, I'm gonna guess heart disease.

SPEAKER_00: 36:20

Heart disease, yep. And so uh in 2020, 9,462 people died of heart disease. So it's one in five leading cause of death. So what they figured out is there's just not a physical cause of heart disease, there's an actual emotional piece. Um so there's a beautiful book called The Heart Speaks by Dr. Mimi Guaneri. And she lost both her parents to heart disease. Her mother had a heart attack, and then her father died of a broken heart after losing his wife. So she said, Well, I'm gonna become a cardiologist and I'm gonna figure out how to help people not have to have heart disease. And so, long story short, she just was fixing hearts and she was a big cardiologist, just putting stents in hearts. Well, then she noticed those same hearts started to break again. So she she went to her older colleagues and she said, Well, what's what's the deal? And they said, Well, talk to your clients, ask them what happened. So, what she found was grief, disappointment, and sadness held in the heart caused the heart to break. So they would tell her, you know, I lost my wife, or I lost my baby, or um, I lost my job. And so she said, Well, okay, how do we heal the heart then? What do we do? So, of course, she led her to the Institute of Heart Math. Then she put a program together where she helped people kind of have like group therapy, pet therapy, like you with your puppy there, and started a program with the heart math and the lifestyle changes, and people started getting better. Um, her colleagues thought it was a little woo-woo at the time, and she ended up starting the Scripps Medical Center and having a lot of success with this program because she helped people to get those emotions out of the heart, talk about it, and change, make some lifestyle changes, and they killed their hearts. So I find in my over 20-something years with teaching this to people that a lot of people get off medications, antidepressants, um, blood pressure medication, pain medication. And I think, you know, everything has its place, but some people would come in and say, I want to get off of these. I've been on them too long. And, you know, a lot of times it is the emotional piece, but I work in an integrative health center, so we do help them with the other physical components as well. But um, I I do believe that it can and and does heal if we really look at all the pieces, the mind, body, spirit piece of it.

SPEAKER_02: 39:13

Yeah, I um I is there a I think also I I heard about a book called Is It The Heart's Code? Two is that by a male, like a Paul.

SPEAKER_00: 39:24

I haven't read that one yet. I've I typically get all the books that have that, but I've been seeing it lately. It's fairly new. I haven't read it yet.

SPEAKER_02: 39:32

So um and then um and then yeah, you hear about the broken heart often, um, that they literally die. And so sometimes I think about when I think about how many people are are um suffering with heart disease or heart issues, or as you mentioned, the hypertension or um cardiovascular issues. Um you know, how many of us are not living in alignment with our heart?

SPEAKER_00: 40:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 40:09

Um you know, which is part of what birthed my podcast in the first place, the the name, the unapologetic, you know, living podcast, because I love that. I do want individuals to have that permission to live from this space, right? And oftentimes it's community, it's family, it's work colleagues, right? You were told that you're making a mistake when you left that corporate world. You know, people, it's it's I think they're fearful for another because it's something maybe outside of the norm or outside of and whatever it is, right? We all have a different path. Um, but when I think about how many people do suffer with heart conditions, um it does make me, you know, ask maybe those deeper questions as to, you know, what else is behind that, what emotions are holding you back or um or interfering with, you know, your ability to like really move through this um physical condition.

SPEAKER_00: 41:25

Exactly. And I really like to teach people tools that they can use, like learn the heart breathing so they can listen to their body. Um, I always find when I do my heart breathing that um I'll hear something like let go or trust or something that really matters, you know. Like you you think about the heart, and we say, like, in my heart of hearts, I knew, or get to the heart of the matter, or it's always that's where we know that's where our truth is coming from. So really all we ever have to do is just get quiet and ask and listen to be still to know, and we know better than anybody, but you know, that is where the intelligence is hidden, and we really everything kind of always comes back to that. Um, and it's so simple, and yet why is it that we forget, you know, so it's just a breath away, and we can choose peace instead of chaos, and you know, it's it it appears right now to be a very chaotic time for people, uh, you know, was what I hear from my clients that are very stressed. And you know, it's funny uh when I was preparing to talk to you, I was doing some heart breathing and getting ready to to prepare for this time. And I thought of the other night, my husband and I were getting ready to fix fit fish tacos, and he said, Get the blue pan out. And I said, We don't have a blue pan. And he goes, Yeah, we do. So I he pulls out this pan and I said, Honey, that's gray. And he goes, No, it's blue, and so anyway, I start laughing because I'm like, he's colorblind, but anyway, so you know, you can get into a fight real easy this way, you know. Right. And uh, so I start thinking, well, this is what's going on in the world, right? It's like you see the pan is blue, and I see it as gray. And so anyway, we start laughing, we make the fish tacos. A friend comes over later to bring us something, and I was telling her the story of how it's a perfect analogy of what's going on in the world, and and so I hold up the pan and she says, Well, it's gunmetal gray, you know. And then my husband's trying to tell her, Don't you see the blue? And so, so she goes, you know, now that you mention it, just around the rim, I see a little specks of blue. So the reason I'm bringing this up is I think it's so important that we hear each other and listen to each other and see each other's sides of things, and from maybe just listening, we can see okay, there's a little glimmer of blue over there. And maybe we're more alike than different. And so HeartMath has a tool called coherent listening where you're you're heart focused, you're heart breathing, you're sending gratitude to the person, and then you're just kind of reflecting back what you hear. But I do find, like I was on a cruise recently to Alaska, and there was a they seated us with a bunch of people we didn't know. And a lot of these people travel and are really cool people, and somebody brought up politics, and somebody said, Well, let's not go there. And I said, Well, why can we not listen to each other and respect each other and just see how it goes? So we were able to do that, and it went very well, and you know, it's not like everybody agreed, but we were able to hear each other. And I said, I think we have to really get to this place, you know, to see that we are all connected. Um, we do need to hear each other and see we're more alike than different. And even though it's gray for me and it's blue for you, maybe I can see a little rim of blue and say, I see why you feel that way, and I honor that. And you know, how do we move forward from here? You know, so um, it ended up being a very beautiful conversation we all had. And the next day the the lady thanked me for she said, Thank you for being willing to go there and remind us that we could have the courage to see our similarities. And I truly believe we are. All connected, and we all really want the same thing. We may not agree on how to get there, but I think being in our heart does help us to go to what matters, to to love, to forgiveness. We're we're here to experience joy and to extend love. And and I think most of the time in these conversations, it's a call for love. It's like, hear me, hear, hear, you know, if if we can come to that place, I I truly spend a lot of my time just sending love to the planet and to our world leaders, you know.

SPEAKER_02: 47:53

So when you um talk about the breathing into the heart, um, and it may not really matter that much. This could be, you know, just trivial little details. At first, just you know, being a yoga teacher, I'm in through the nose and sending it to the heart, but it sounded like as I got further in, like I should maybe be imagining it coming right into my heart versus like this whole travel.

SPEAKER_00: 48:24

I mean, that's just like, yes, no, it's a great question because you know, you have all this yoga training, and a lot of people come to heart math with a bunch of training. So then we're trying to, you know, do all that. And so I remember who my coach told me, just leave all that aside and just simplify it. So you're just kind of like you said, coming directly to the center of the body, to the heart, connecting to it. Sometimes putting your hand there helps. We're not used to heart breathing, right? We're like, what is that?

SPEAKER_02: 48:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 48:58

So we're just imagining. So if your hand's there, it helps you to have a focus. And then you just imagine like a breath, a breeze or a wave that's going in and out, uh, which brings your focus there. And then the really the thing that does make it all work is gratitude. So by going into gratitude, it naturally sends a different wave up to the brain. So gratitude's really the thing they figured out that balances the body. Um, so it is there's so much to be said about that. So it's the combination of the breathing with gratitude that uh calms the nervous system in the body. But gratitude is one of the highest vibrations. So um if you know the book Power versus Force by by David Hawkins, he's an MD and he measured vibrations of emotions on a scale. Uh-huh. And the highest one was gratitude. And so, really, you know, when we know that we can change, if we change our energy, we can change our life. And our vibration, if it is in gratitude, is in the highest state. And that is really what sends a different rhythm, a coherent beat of the heart up to the brain that makes everything start to come to a balanced place. So I'm really glad you asked that question because um it just is a very simple, it's almost like we kind of already know this, right? It's it's like we typically know when we're in a state of gratitude that we feel good, we feel better. So it's always kind of coming back to that natural state of giving thanks and focusing on what is good in life. And if I get, you know, too far ahead of myself, it's like if I do my heart breathing, I'm in the present moment, you know. And so they say that's where anxiety is, you know, we're too far ahead. And that depression is when we're too far in the past. But when we're doing this heart breathing, we're in the present. And that is um where all the answers are for the moment. And then you know what to do. You know, you know your next best next best step. Um and that might look like trust, that might look like let it go, forgive. So much of the time for me, it's just practicing forgiving myself. You know, a lot of times we're beating ourselves up, right? Why did I say that? Why did I do that? Why did I XYZ? You know, that that looked stupid, you know.

SPEAKER_02: 52:07

Yeah. I was thinking about that the other night when I I guess was um ruminating in the past. Um the middle of the night, I woke up and you know, had a little bit of insomnia, and I was just thinking about, you know, gosh, this comes back to um self-forgiveness, and sometimes that's the hardest one. Um and uh, you know, yeah, it took a little, I don't even know how I got on, you know, it's like you don't even know where they come from sometimes, right? These thoughts. And I was taking them a little trip down memory lane where when my kids' father and I split up, I think I moved my kids, golly, I don't even want to count. I'm so embarrassed. It was a lot, you know. I was like, oh gosh, that's just one I need to just really like spend some time with.

SPEAKER_00: 53:00

Right.

SPEAKER_02: 53:01

Yeah. And it sounds like um the hard breathing would be a wonderful place to start with, you know, you know, you know it logically, right? On some things, but it's it's you have to do the the work and bring in the practices in order to, whatever that is, it could be journaling or you know, the heart. Yeah. Um you so like when it comes to, would you say, would you equate this with prayer?

SPEAKER_00: 53:38

You know, our thoughts are prayers and we're always praying. Um, I I think it could be, and Mark Math has a little book where you can include it in your prayer practice, but it is really just a breathing technique. Um some people come to my office that don't believe in anything, and so the word prayer might be a trigger for them. Right. Um, so it's a breathing technique to balance the body. It's used at like Duke and Stanford, it's all the research has been, you know, people will go all the way to Cleveland Clinic and come back to Louisville and say, oh, we have somebody that teaches heart math, because you know, it it is used in top hospitals. Um and so, you know, you for me, a lot of times I even though I'm a very spiritual person, I try to just stick to the science if I'm given a talk in a corporate situation or with people that that aren't open to that. So I just kind of stick to the medical piece of it. But there is a deep spiritual connection with the heart because it is where we connect to the highest part of us. And when we are in our heart, we are connected to the best and what you call the source or the creator. Um, and you will get insights and intuition. And, you know, I end up writing a lot of poetry and a lot of things come to me during that time. Um, so you know, I do believe our thoughts are prayers and we're always praying. And I do believe words are powerful and it's how we create. Uh so what we want to do is say what we want and want what we say, and and really learning to um be aware of that. When I had an experience when I was 19, I had um the place I worked was I went to work and there was a padlock on the door. And um, so I I lost my job. My my boss was under uh investigation for some illegal activities that I didn't know were happening. And then I had this little Volkswagen, like two days later, I'm driving it, and a guy rear-ends me and totals my car. So each time something would happen, I would say, it can't get me worse. And then, of course, I wasn't gonna get my paycheck. So, my couple weeks in, it was time to pay my rent. My landlord said, If you don't have your rent, I'm gonna have to kick you out. So I called my sister, and again, I said, It can't get me worse. And she said, You know, I think you need to stop saying that because every time you say it, it gets worse. So now I have no job, I've lost my car, and I'm about to lose my apartment. And I'm like, maybe I need to stop saying that. And I went to the library and I just started researching books on how to recreate your life, you know. And I found Leo Bushkaglia, who wrote a lot about the heart. He taught at UCLA, and um, he used to just, you know, he taught psychology and human development, but he had a student commit suicide uh in one who was in one of his classes, and he said he had to get more about teaching love and teaching about what matters. And um, so I found a lot of his books and started reading them and just changing how I spoke and changing um my life. And within like a couple of days, I got two or three jobs uh in the galleria, which you know was downtown. And I called my landlord and I said, Look, um, I'm not gonna have it this week, but next week. I told him, you know, what I had done with the jobs and everything. I said, I'll I'll have it. And he goes, Okay, I'll give you an extra two weeks. Um and you know, things started turning around very quickly, and I realized I had the power to to do that with my speaking, with my energy, with what I was thinking. And uh, and to this day I will not say that. I will and I will not say, you know, I if something bad happens, I don't I don't say that because I don't want to see that it can.

SPEAKER_02: 58:00

Right, right, right. Yeah, no, I I I I um hear you. Uh and I do believe um that is so true. This summer my son got married uh down in July uh in Texas in July, and the whole anxiety thing too far ahead. I was jumping too far ahead. I was worried somebody in the family was going to get in a car accident and not be there because and it would take them away. It was wild. And I was like, I couldn't really call like oh, I just wanted to get to the wedding, so I knew everybody was there, and and I'm not kidding. 10 days before it was really late here. There'd been a really um that were wind and rain came through, and there was a tree down in Seneca. And it was this weird, like kind of like it was like veaning out of the road like this, but it was really dark and the power and the the park lights were off. And the way it was, it was like you can't really tell. Like this was low to the ground. This was like up, like right at windshield height, and I didn't see it. And I hit this part, okay, but but this one was like sticking out further on the ground. So my wheel hit this part, I go flying like in the air over to the left. I avoided the higher one.

SPEAKER_00: 59:22

Scary.

SPEAKER_02: 59:23

Oh, it was, and I like land, I didn't realize I hit air. These two young men came running to me because they had just gotten out of the car, like uh prior eagle Eagle Scouts, Eagle Scouts. I mean, that's a lifelong um credential for lack of a better word. Um, and they were going to uh try to eliminate that tree because no one had gotten to it yet, so that no one else did what they had just almost done, which I had just then did.

SPEAKER_00: 59:53

You did, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 59:55

Um, and they're like, oh my God, are you okay? You know, you you you made you hit air and you know, we're so glad you're okay. But anyway, I busted it, you know, I bent the rim of my tire. The the car was, I mean, I had to have it towed. Um but it was just wild because like I'm like, I gotta like fix that part. Like for some reason, there's a thing with car accidents that I struggle with. Yeah, and it's not, I don't know if it's past life, um, but it's the big one. I mean, it's been I since I was young, actually, because I remember I would have that same fear. Um maybe it was, yeah. Just after uh, but it's interesting though. It's like the more I'm like, okay, but uh one of the things Rebecca Martin, you know, would remind me, because like when my kids started driving, I started going to that space too, you know, just envision them in this golden bubble, a ball of light, sitting and arriving where, you know, and visualizing where they're supposed to be at the end of that car journey. Perfect, yeah. You know, and so like I but I have to like take a moment to regroup to remind myself this is the practice, not this one.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:12

Me too. And I'm glad you brought it up because you know, our amygdala, as you know, says we got to remember this to stay alive. We almost died, and so it's stuck there, and that's really how I ended up getting into the havening because I started having claustrophobia and fears that I didn't have immediately after the accident, but later as I went through menopause, it was like all of a sudden rainy or night, or uh you know, I had all this claustrophobia. The claustrophobia had been there a long time. Anyway, long story short, um Harry Pickens, you know Harry? Yeah, he had gone to New York to train um with um the people that created the heaven havening technique to get rid of stage fright for him. And when he came back, he said, I'm thinking of bringing these doctors here for a training. Are you interested? And I said, Absolutely, because he helped me, Harry did, with the havening techniques to get rid of my claustrophobia. And I thought, well, if it helped him get rid of stage fright and it helped me, then you know, I I would like to be able to help people to release that trauma from the brain because it's very real. And you know, I've been in all these integrative clinics, five of them, and I was still having a lot of these issues, which is you know, it teaches you compassion to what people are really dealing with, you know. Um and yet there was part of me that was almost embarrassed because it was like, why do I still have why is this here? You know, but I knew it was teaching me something and it was showing me something. And so the havening techniques and uh Dr. Ron Rudin, who created it, was Harvard Train. Um, he wrote a book on um when the past is always present, like you're talking about. You know, the car that was always there. And he talked about what makes it stick in the brain. So he figured out the havening process helps to release it. Um, so um that that truly helped me, and so I use it with my clients. The thing I like about it is it has a self-havening component that you can do yourself. And um, there's videos on YouTube, lots of free ones that you can go to for self-havening. Um, it's a simple process that helps calm the nervous system. And um there's one where a gentleman is doing it with the whole UN. So he is doing havening with the whole United Nation. Can you imagine that? So cool. Yeah. Um, so I love anything that you can use in the moment to calm your nervous system because we all are on over-stimulation right now. And so I'm always looking for things that we can do in the moment to bring us to peace, to choose love over fear, to say I can have peace instead of this. Uh now you can say that, but if your nervous system isn't calm, then it's just like icing on a mud cake, right?

SPEAKER_02: 1:04:17

So that's what I was gonna uh ask. Like, do you believe um, because I I think you know, the longer that I've been in this work, um, the more and the more just research that I do and the information that I find that if we don't, if we can't learn to regulate that nervous system, or then it's going to be difficult. We could be doing every perfect thing, every right thing. But if we don't regulate the nervous system and calm the nervous system, these all these right things, the most the the 100% per perfect organic diet, the exact exercise regimen, the this, the that, you know, all of those things, if we're not really calm on the inside, that that's only gonna make us a little bit of a difference. Like this, this has to you're right. Yeah, you think so?

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:17

Absolutely right, yeah. And so what is it, what practice do you have daily that helps you to regulate your nervous system? You know, it's really any I I love the heartback because it's simple, but any any deep, so the deep rhythmical breathing makes the body feel safe. And when the body feels safe, the nervous system can calm down. So finding what works for you and your body um is important. Uh, you know, you being a yoga teacher, you probably have lots of techniques and all the work that you've done, you probably have lots of techniques. Um I find whatever it is that you will do, you know, I I like tapping, you know, emotional freedom technique. I think that's very effective. Um, I like things that people can have in the moment, you know, whether it's tapping or haven't, and you know, haven't is literally the self-havening, it looks like this, you know, you're just kind of like washing your face, washing your hands, and then you go from the top of the arms down to the elbow. So it's kind of like a hug. But if you do that for about like five to eight minutes, it will really calm the nervous system. And the face has the highest reaction that they've measured. And so just doing that, and you can say like calm peace. So, you know, I might be at a stoplight doing this, doing some heart breathing, you know, because still traffic can get to me, you know. Um, so I'll be doing that in the car.

SPEAKER_02: 1:06:59

And then I I I too like having those tools that um maybe you you do learn from someone, but knowing that they're um accessible to any and all once learned, please. Completely free. The breath is free. This touch is free. The tapping is free. And it's available to you, you know, everyone all the time. They just it's partly it's just remembering to do it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:07:33

And you know, I wear little things like I have this little red heart bracelet. One of my clients gave it to me, and it just has a little tiny heart there. And every time I look at it, I go, Oh, go to your heart, do your breath. Then I have my angel bracelet. Usually I have a bunch, but and it reminds me that that are there are angels and helpers that I can call upon. Um, that I'm not alone, you know, and things that, but and my love necklace helps me when I see it, return to love, you know, breathe in through the heart, go to love, you know. But I kind of do little things that I wear to remind me to keep practicing my tools. Uh, because even though I teach it, I can forget, you know, and I have a great t-shirt. It says forget, remember, forget, remember. And I always joke that I can't find the shirt. I bought it so I wouldn't forget, and then I can't find the shirt. Yeah. But you know, we do know at the core of who we are, we know all of this. We came in with it.

SPEAKER_02: 1:08:37

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 1:08:38

And we have our challenges, we forget, we remember, we do it, and then at some point it becomes a lifestyle. And, you know, that was what I always wanted. You you talked about lining your life up, and eventually I said, no more. I have to line my life up. I have to live this, and I will not sell my soul anymore. I will do what I love. And it's all worked out. And uh, you know, at the end of the day, I feel a great reward of listening to my heart and speaking my truth and being my authentic self. And after my car accident, that became so important to me that I'd just be who I really came here to be and not to sell out and and not to get to the end of my life and say, oh heck, I wanted to do this, but I was afraid. I I people would think it wasn't a good idea, or I went to college to get that degree to do that thing, but that thing was killing me. And so, you know, I've never regretted it, but it's very non-conventional. But I do believe we're here to experience joy, to share love, be self-expressed, and to be who we are, you know, and and sometimes we uh we don't know what that looks like, but if we get in our heart and we listen, then we do know. We know what brings us joy and we know what uh what we really want to do. It's usually pretty simple.

SPEAKER_02: 1:10:07

So so now I know you work with clients um in person, right? I don't know, I forget. Tell me virtually too, but you do work with clients in person.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:18

I do. I work at the Institute for Integrative Medicine on Shelbyville Road, so that's where my office is. My business is Inspire Wellness, and I named it that because Inspire is to breathe life into. That was what I wanted to do, and really have people connect in spirit to their higher self. Uh my website is inspirewellness.net, and then all the socials and stuff are on there. But yeah, I see clients in person, I teach the heart math, uh, work with people with havening, Reiki, functional nutrition, and just general life and wellness coaching, you know, and a few other things thrown in there.

SPEAKER_02: 1:11:02

Yeah, and I love that because it really does take um a myriad of things or tools and modalities to, and and every and those modalities are going to look um different, just like one's diet may look different. Right. You know, as far as what one connects with or resonates with. I mean, you know, I I could tell you 20 years ago, after, you know, coming out of, you know, I was raised Methodist, like I definitely would have been triggered by the word prayer. And so like when my kids were growing up, we had a gratitude practice every night at dinner, um, at least once a day. We're like, we all named three gratitudes. We all named three things to be grateful for. I love that. Yeah. And so, you know, that's stayed with us to this day. Um, but over the years, I'm more open to prayer. Um, but I understand that. And there are people in my family who be like, whoa, you know, that word is that would still be uncomfortable for them. The word God is uncomfortable for them. Um, and so I I what I I think I like about, you know, the tools that you have, it really doesn't matter which path of spirituality or or religious path you're on, they were. Nothing's interfering.

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:21

Exactly. You're right. Right on. And honor everyone's path. And you said that earlier. Everyone's on their path and they have a right to be on it. And you know, I I honor wherever you are on that journey, you know. So meet you there if you want to.

SPEAKER_02: 1:12:38

Right. Yeah, that roomy quote, right? Um, that meet you. I love that quote. Me too. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:45

Well, thank you so much, Kim really, for joining me. I really uh thank you, Elizabeth. It's been so fun. And I think we could talk for another hour, but uh maybe another time.

SPEAKER_02: 1:12:55

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I hope you have a fabulous day. And I I so appreciate it. I I learned a lot um uh today uh about heart math again. I had just a drop in the bucket. So um, and I'm thankful for the reminders on, you know, and that little um uh that little exercise you walked us through with uh hard breathing. I think that's um yeah yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:20

Thank you for the opportunity to share today and to share our hearts and gratitude, even though Thanksgiving's over, it can certainly extend on for like your practice. I love that with three things, and and it really is a good practice to have if we can stay in that place for the holidays, that will make a big difference. Just keep going back to gratitude, yeah, because there's all always something.

SPEAKER_02: 1:13:46

I know some days it might feel harder than others, but you know, when you learn to just even find gratitude for for the smallest things, right? You're just like, whoa, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:58

Yeah, like the snow, the sun. Yeah, you know, flower, yeah, any little thing, little cat that comes up, any any little thing just exactly it'll give you energy to keep going. So yeah. All right, my dear. Take care.

SPEAKER_02: 1:14:13

All right, you have a fabulous day. Thank you so much. Bye, bye bye.